Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember.
Episode 2 – January 2016
I guess I won’t be seeing anything bigger than a ‘village’ for now. My caretakers feel that my re-introduction into society should be gradual and that I should not overindulge due to my frail physical and mental state. So I’ve been confined to my room, limited to visits to the institute and occasional walks through the village with Steve. Steve works for the institute. He’s been with me since I arrived. He is my custodian and lives in the room across the hallway. As it turns out Steve needs to sleep at night which apparently I don’t. Not right now at least. Haven’t slept much since I stopped with the pills. So I sneak out when I can, just to see around a bit. I’ve enjoyed a sky full of stars and a bright crescent moon (had to look up the moon phases to know that) and stayed a while to see if I could meet people except not many are out at 4 am. I still like the night. It’s cool and quiet and crisp and it’s nice to be solitary. Lets you think more clearly. I did meet an old man once I’ll refer to as Willy in the future, since that’s what he was flaunting.
I’ve also been listening to music day and night, and the stuff can be amazing. I found this Spotify thing on the internet and it just keeps going and going with new stuff. I find it emotional sometimes. I laugh, I cry, my heart races up and down, but the quality varies. I do not understand how this Justin Bieber is considered good. I found a Mozart which was excellent, and an Edith Piaf that felt painful, this Bieber just repeats himself. Says baby a lot.
Besides going to the institute daily for blood tests and cognitive evaluations, I’ve been going on day trips with Steve. He doesn’t seem very happy with me, like I’ve done something personal against him. Maybe there is some drama I’m responsible for. Like maybe my former me slept with his sister, which should not be of his concern. I tried asking him, but he’s very private about everything…. Anyway, he arranged for me to visit some places people usually go to.
We went to the local library early in the week. It’s a small building just next door and it was practically empty. I mean, it’s full of books, like thousands of them… a wondrous place. Granted, my experience is rather limited but the potential seems endless. I mean you can learn all sorts of stuff from books. I got a library card with Steve’s help and walked out with a few recommended books. And one on Ninjutsu. Figured I had to start somewhere.
We also went to the local church on Sunday and it was also almost empty, not to mention that the vicar was of little use. He told me that, in short, an immortal god manifested itself on earth to be sacrificed for our sins (sins that the god had created for us for stuff it had deemed as wrong), then returned to life, which does not seem like much of a sacrifice. He told me that we should pray to this god because it’s good for us, but he did not provide any reason that wasn’t fear. Seems fishy to me. While there, Steve went to a booth of some kind to talk with the vicar. Later I sneaked a peek inside and there it was just a small room with a grate. Why couldn’t they just talk to each other like I did earlier?
Anyway, then I got try coffee at a local coffee shop today. Man, that stuff is really bitter. I’ve read online that it’s one of the most consumed beverages in the world. But why? With milk and honey it’s tolerable, but still a bit boring. Must be an acquired taste. Steve seemed to like his without anything extra. I like mine with milk and honey.
Good news; next week I should be briefed on how I lost my memory. When they did my blood tests they didn’t think I was ready yet. I feel like I am ready to know, but apparently there are some concerns. Not that they told me what those were, just said ‘not ready’. I really want to know, need to know. I mean, I can’t help running scenarios in my head of what happened to me, or what my life is or was before, or why I can write this clearly. Why can I write this clearly? I need to know. Why is Steve so annoyed with me? Did I do something bad to him? (I hope not, he’s pretty big.) And do I have a family that misses me? That wasn’t all good news, was it?
Bad news is, when I go to sleep, I dream of emptiness. It’s not that I don’t dream, I do dream. The dreams are just of emptiness, like something is supposed to be there, but isn’t. Not sure what that means. The landlord apparently dreams of picking tiny horses on a field like flowers. I don’t know what that means either, but I would like to dream that. Seems absurd, but nicer than emptiness.
I hope I’m ok. I really do.
I’ll write more next week.
And that’s it for episode 2.
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